Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bullying is bullying

I was in Israel in 1995 when Israel announced their expansion into the west bank. I was stunned by the positions of the locals on the whole situation.

No matter how many ways I turn this current bout of violence, I find fault with Israel. This doesn't mean I don't find fault with Palestine. Still, I have real trouble listening to Israelis claim that Palestinians are denying their right to exist. Yes, Israel, as a nation, has been persecuted - just slightly less than Palestine as a nation. I have no sensible resolution to the current situation. It was hatched in the addled brains of the post WWII leaders, and it is, and always was, horrific. Yet I just can't get past Palestine's right to exist. I don't believe that right gives them leave to fire rockets into Israel. But if you create several generations of disenfranchised people, you run the risk of violent, insane behaviour. After all, as Israel's foreign minister said, Israel has far superior fire power and will hurt Palestine far more than Palestine can hurt Israel. And in the end, this is the essence of this debate. Israel is the bully here, by sheer weight of fire power. Just like Israel deserved a homeland, so does Palestine. And a real one, not one divided and ruled by others.

What I saw in the old city of Jerusalem has affected me deeply. Much to my surprise. I expected to be untouchable by such things as trivial as religion. Instead it was one of the most profound experiences of my life. Christianity came off worst. A bunch of juvenile, demented people worshipping a figure that has been used to justify immeasurable violence. I'm not saying this exemplifies Christianity everywhere in all its forms, that's just how it looks in Jerusalem. Then there are the Jews - they look desperate and clingy. Telling their own history in a way that looks like they won as many as they lost. Again, I know this doesn't represent Jews in general. And then in the old city, there were the Muslims, drinking coffee, living their lives. They looked sane. Of course, they were also the ones who refused to return my lost purse until I had returned to Tel Aviv so that they could charge me US$100 for the privilege of bringing it back to me. I don't hold any illusions. I guess the point is, that disaster is nothing about religion, and all about politics. It tells us nothing about Christianity or Judaism or Islam. Just about people being territorial and stupid.

In the end, Israel has the upper hand, they are the bullies. It is in their hands to solve this problem. And I have no doubt that violence towards Israel from Palestine will continue for a long time to come. It isn't justifiable, but it's understandable. If you imagine your entire life being taken from you, and staying that way for a few generations, it might take a while for the anger to subside. Israel and Palestine have a great deal in common. If they could get past their religious sibling rivalry, it seems they should be great mates. It also seems intentionally aggressive from Israel to refuse to recognise these people's right to exist. Therefore, despite my revulsion for the violent tactics, I will find myself on Palestine's side in this mess, because they have no power and no choice. I will always support those with no power and no choice.

Thinking of New Years Resolutions?

Just in case you were considering anything rash as a New Year's resolution, this should help. It's a very nice little piece on being thin in the New Yorker. Here is the first step to being thin:
Avoid what psychologists refer to as “emotional eating.” This is hard, because many people have a tendency to experience emotions. To solve this problem, consume increasing dosages of psychotropic medications until you cease to feel emotions of any kind.
Thanks to Fillyjonk at Shapely Prose for that lovely little end of year giggle.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Charlie truth modifier

More unfinished posts - this one from 6 months ago!

Charlie is never wrong. Never. Of course, at 2, nearly 3, this philosophy can be a little limiting at times. So Charlie has developed a solution to it. I call it the Charlie truth modifier. Tonight's example was the gravy for dinner which was in a coffee cup. Charlie said "I want some, coffee." I explained that it isn't coffee, it's gravy. Charlie said "It's coffee." I said, "It's gravy." Charlie said "Yeah, it's gravy coffee."

Other such truth modifiers include "four wheel drive truck", "tiger bear", "kite balloon" and "hail snow"

I am posting it, because he still does this at 3 and a half and I still think it's funny.

It's also related to our current problem. Charlie doesn't want to eat dinner. Ever. Regardless of what it is. And since Charlie is never wrong, he can't change his mind. A few days ago, he clearly decided dinner looked good, so he said he didn't want dinner, he wanted lunch. Since then he has been eating lunch at 6pm with the rest of us.

How Australian am I?

I've been looking through my half written posts and found a few I forgot about. Mim did this one a while ago and I thought it looked like fun.

1. Heard a kookaburra in person We often see them on the way to school.

2. Slept under the stars On NYE 2000, on Cronulla beach, among others.

3. Seen a koala.

4. Visited Melbourne

5. Watched a summer thunderstorm One of the great treats of summer.

6. Worn a pair of thongs

7. Been to Uluru (Ayer's Rock).

8. Visited Cape York

9. Held a snake

10. Sang along with Khe San It's compulsory, as far as I know.

11. Drank VB Unfortunately.

12. Visited Sydney

13. Have seen a shark I'm assuming here that watching the fin after being removed from the water for a shark call counts

14. Have used Aussie slang naturally in a conversation

15. Had an actual conversation with an indigenous Australian

16. Eaten hot chips from the bag at the beach

17. Walked/climbed over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Climbed over it illegally before they opened up the Bridge Climb. Nice view from up there.

18. Used an outside dunny, and checked under the seat before sitting down

19. Seen Chloe in Young & Jackson's.

20. Slept on an overnight train or bus

21. Been to Sydney's Mardi Gras Only once, but I'd do it again given the oppoortunity.

22. Have gone bush-bashing

23. Taken a sickie I was good at these at school.

24. Been to see a game of Aussie Rules football As a work function, and didn't much enjoy it.

25. Have seen wild camels

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Had a Tim Tam Slam I had to look up to confirm exactly what this was, since I didn't call it that at the time. It's a natural extension of bikky dunking.

28. Ridden in a tram in Melbourne

29. Been at an ANZAC day Dawn Service. Only a local one, and only as a kid.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Held a wombat

32. Been on a roadtrip of 800km or more

33. Seen the Great Australian Bight in person

34. Had a really bad sunburn Oh yes.

35. Visited an aboriginal community - Driven through them, and went to the toilet once, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count.

36. Seen a redback spider Had a massive one (or dynasty of them - how long do they live?) under our front step when I was a kid.

37. Have watched Paul Hogan

38. Seen Blue Poles in person

39. Wandered barefoot in the bush/outback - I don't think the dash through the bush to the beach counts.

40. Eaten Vegemite

41. Thrown a boomerang Unsuccessfully.

42. Seen the Kimberlies

43. Given a hitch-hiker a lift - Dad did once when I was in the car - again, doesn't count.

44. Been to Perth

45. Have tried Lemon, Lime and Bitters Bleagghhhh

46. Tried playing a didgeridoo

47. Seen dinosaur footprints

48. Eaten Tim Tams

49. Been to Darwin

50. Touched a kangaroo

51. Visted the Great Barrier Reef

52. Listened to Kevin Bloody Wilson

53. Killed a Cane Toad They go POP nicely if you run over them the right way.

54. Gone to a drive-in theatre

55. Have read and own books by Australian authors

56. Visited Adelaide

57. Know the story behind "Eternity"

58. Been camping

59. Visited Brisbane

60. Been in an outback pub I think the Silverton pub outside Broken Hill counts as "outback"

61. Know what the term "Waltzing Matilda" actually means

62. Gone whale watching. But I've seen lots of dolphins.

63. Listened to Slim Dusty

64. Own five or more Australian movies or TV series - I don't own many movies or TV series full stop.

65. Sang along to Down Under Also compulsory - or at least unavoidable.

66. Have stopped specifically to look at an historic marker by the side of the road.

67. Eaten a 4'n'20 pie

68. Surfed at Bondi - I can't surf, but I have swum there, and it ain't my favourite beach...

69. Watched the cricket on Boxing Day Of course.

70. Visited Hobart

71. Eaten kangaroo I've been trying to make it a routine part of our diet recently.

72. Seen a quokka

73. Visited Canberra

74. Visited rainforests

75. Used a Victa lawnmower

76. Travelled on a tram in Adelaide

There's no 77. Why is there no 77?

78. Used a Hills hoist

79. Visited the Olgas

80. Used native Australian plants in cooking

81. Visited the snow

82. Chosen a side in Holden VS Ford We owned a Ford or two when I was a kid, and for some reason I took that side. You'll be pleased to know I grew out of it.

83. Visited the desert. - The Hay plain and the area around Broken Hill is the closest I've got.

84. Been water skiing

85. Read The Phantom

86. Visited Parliament House

87. Gone spotlighting or pig-shooting

88. Crossed the Nullarbor

89. Avoided swimming in areas because of crocodiles (and jellyfish.)

90. Listened to AC/DC.

91. Called someone a dag

92. Voted in a Federal Election

93. Have been swimming and stayed between the flags

94. Had a possum in your roof

95. Visited the outback - as previously mentioned, I've decided Broken Hill counts as outback.

96. Travelled over corrugated roads.

97. Hit a kangaroo while driving - had a few near misses, and my parents hit a big red near Bourke, but I was a baby at the time.

98. Been well outside any mobile phone coverage - not hard to achieve.

99. Seen an emu.

100. Have woken to the smell of bushfires. Not too hard to achieve, one of the times I did this I was about 5km from the CBD of Sydney.

77% apparently - although a lot of it achieved as a kid.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

What Santa gave me

Among the loot I got for Christmas, was a camera. A little one hand picked for using at concerts and such, and for carrying around in my handbag.

So I thought I'd share some of the joy of 6 year olds' Christmas decorations.

Elissa also decided, after Christmas, that she was finally serious about this walking thing.


"Seriously, I'm gonna do it Mum."


"See, I'm doing it."

But this is what a girl needs when she's serious about learning to walk.

It's just a bit tricky to get on.

Nearly there....

"Too fast for YOU!"

"I'm a star! (never you mind about the backwards helmet)"

I had nothing to do with the putting on of the bike helmet - it was all her. She has made basically no progress since she first took steps, until Boxing Day. Since then she has been actively trying to walk, taking the odd turn around the room, just because she can.

I love this camera. Any idiot can take nice photos. Although any idiot can't get them off the camera. When you plug the phone into the USB port of the Mac, it doesn't load as a disc. It claims it needs the software, but the software doesn't recognise it when it is connected. Thankfully, the memory card flips into a USB device, and plugging it in works. Pretty tedious though.

And buggered if I can find the movie mode. RTFM, sadly.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Cricket watching and blogging

I love Boxing Day. Playing with toys, watching cricket, eating left overs. The house is a mess and I don't give a damn. Even though we have relo's dropping by.

We had our own Christmas miracle yesterday - the 15 year old boy in the family interacted, played games and ... read a book! Looks like he's on his way back from wherever it is teenage boys go.

It seems like we did too good a job tiring Charlie out to make him sleep in on Christmas Day. We had a great deal of difficulty getting him up and when we dragged him down stairs, he refused to open presents. By the time he was truly into it, pretty much all the present unwrapping was done. Charlie and Elissa were determined to play with each other's toys but that caused only a modicum of whinging. Ben loved everything. He even ate some Christmas dinner.

Speaking of which - we drive half way across Sydney to get to a butcher recommended to us by a vegetarian for the meat for Christmas. Carving and eating it yesterday, I remembered why. Absolutely beautiful meat. 7kg turkey. 7.8kg leg of pork. 10kg ham. I know you're thinking "How many people were at this dinner? 20? 30?". Well, actually, 9 adults, one of whom is a vegetarian, and my kids. There is a teensy tiny tad of leftovers. Shouldn't need to buy meat until February...

Today Charlie popped in from the backyard to say "I had a fun Christmas day" and went back to what he was doing. He should know, yesterday we got "Is this Christmas day?" about 4 times. It's important not to miss these important days.

Back to slothing on the couch...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

What the?

This afternoon (yes, this would be Christmas Day) I got a phone call from a telco in the US, telling me their client wanted their broken service fixed today. The "client" in question is in Hong Kong. The people using the service are all in Sydney - or at least they would be except that the service is not being actively used at the moment, apart from preliminary testing.

Poor bloke from the US - after he tells me who he is and why he is calling, my incredulity could not be contained and he got an earful of "You know this is Christmas day, right?". I rapidly back pedalled and made it clear I knew this was not his fault, and we had a mutual looney client.

Any of you who might have dealt with Hong Kong probably have a clue what kind of response you would get for demanding a non-active service be fixed on Chinese New Year.

Christmas was great, way too much food, too many presents, good company, lots of carols and a whole day tomorrow to play with the new toys. Hope everyone had a great day. Now it's time for some deep and dreamless sleep.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight

After total chaos for a week, complete exhaustion just barely kept at bay, it looked like it was all going to come together ok. At 6pm, I was mostly organised. The last of the stockings to stuff, the presents to arrange under the tree and the spuds to peel. That was it. Best effort ever.

Then Crash decided to get a jump on things tomorrow and clean up the barbecue ready for some serious turkey cooking. Great plan. Sadly, the new, safer drip tray caught fire, in turn burning through the gas pipe in two places and setting it alight. Now I know why Crash bought those fire extinguishers.

So Crash spent the next two hours cannibalising one of our heaters, his keg gear and raiding his dearly departed father's tools and bits and pieces and rebuilding the sorry mess that his barbecue had become. To his unending credit, it worked, and the barbecue is once again functional.

So now I just need to drag the pressies down to the tree. After I finish this glass of bubbly.

I hope everyone has a magnificent Christmas, however you choose to spend it. May Santa spoil you rotten.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Rolf Harris

Last Tuesday we took the boys to see Rolf Harris. This is highly likely to be the last time he tours Australia - he's 78 and only came on the basis of a personal invitation from a director at the Opera House. Crash and I both saw him when we were kids, so the decision was at least partly nostalgia driven.

It was a good show - he's been entertaining so long, I doubt he could fail to entertain. He presented the show as the story of his life, with the music punctuating the tale. It was funny and interesting, although I had heard a lot of it in other places (like the Denton interview, which was awesome). From our point of view, though, it was too much talking for the little ones.

Without doubt, Jake the Peg was the biggest hit. Both boys sat bolt upright and stared and laughed. Ben kept asking how he had three legs, and when I told him one was fake he couldn't work out which one it was.

Charlie liked all the music, but it took 2 packets of Maltesers to get them through the second half of the show.

From my point of view, the music was mostly great - some of it nostalgic, some of it just very good and a wee bit just a little dull. Highlights were Jake the Peg, Sun Arise, Stairway to Heaven and a version of Vincent inspired by his time doing Rolf on Art.

He told a fantastic story about his father deliberately setting off roosters at midnight, complete, of course, with sound effects.

The boys made it through, and we even scored a compliment from one of the people sitting near us for their behaviour. The night had a less than wonderful end though, because the trains were running so badly and infrequently that we would have had to wait more than half an hour for a train - which we just weren't going to survive. We had to get a cab, to the tune of "I want to go on the train" (repeat) from Charlie. Poor little man, the train was the highlight of his night.

Charlie Wisdom

"I am not a duck."


"Because I am wearing a hat."

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Birthdays

1 loaf of fairy bread
1 packet of iced arrowroot biscuits
10 bags of lollies
30-odd cupcakes
1/2 batch of coconut ice
1/2 very large birthday cake
20 green jellies
5 litres of cordial

This is what 19 kids can get through at a 6 year old's birthday party. And all of it green. It was a green party - green colour, green ideas.

And what happens immediately after you have 19 kids in your backyard? It buckets down of course.

And what do you do when it buckets down? You play pass the parcel.

This was actually really successful. I drew the line at prizes for every kid both on sanity and green grounds. Instead, we had cards at each layer (on the backs of outdated business cards) with instructions for each kid to do something - sing a verse of "My Highland Goat", swap places with someone whose name starts with M etc. Any time a kid looked like a deer in the headlights at the prospect of fulfilling the task, we had the whole group do it. There was much hilarity.

The cake request was for a frog - green colour, green idea. Since I am no cake decorator, we flicked through a book looking for ideas, and this was the frog that resulted.

Another popular event was bobbing for apples. This was how it began.

And this was how it ended.

I'm not sure any of these kids' parents will let them come back to my house...

In an attempt to dry them out, they belted a pinata for 45 minutes.


As you may have noticed, we made it ourselves. Possibly with more structural integrity than was good for it. This was our first attempt, we might get it closer next time. Although I am very proud of the fact that no matter how much we belted it, it didn't fall down. The kids themselves managed to dent it, but it took Crash, Ed and Sol (2 adults and a 15 year old) to smash it apart. Then there were kids and lollies everywhere! And they were all just a tad shattered. I also need to learn the right kinds of lollies to put in them....

The other really cool thing was the presents. Every kid made some effort to do something green. Homemade paper and cards. Painted newspaper. The cards were gorgeous, I don't think I'm buying any more cards for kids' parties - the homemade ones are way cooler.

And one very inspired mother wrapped the gifts in the pre-school artworks of her kids. Truly brilliant.

It was exhausting, but it was a great party. 19 tired, wet, filthy kids left at 5pm. It must have been good.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Homebake

Since last week was such a disaster, I am just getting to the Homebake thing. I hope I remember it well enough!

Homebake is over 18s only now because of licensing laws or some nonsense. Utterly ridiculous. Two different coloured wrist bands works fine - I wonder what do-gooder decided to change the rules. I find it particularly annoying because music festivals are more and more becoming one of the few inter-generational large scale social events (other than sport, and contrary to prevailing wisdom, not everyone is into sport). There are people of all ages there, and lots are taking their kids to festivals they have been attending for years. Shutting out teenagers seems really wrong to me.

Anyway, onto the music. I got there in time to see Subaudible Hum - I like a song or two. They sounded great - awesome full sound and good vocals. Unfortunately they were also a little dull. It's always a problem for a chilled band to really grab the crowd around lunch time at a festival. I sat under a tree and enjoyed the set, but there were very few people in front of the stage - it was really hot and they just weren't exciting enough to stand in the heat for.

Then I caught a wee bit of Bluejuice, a Sydney band known primarily for Vitriol. All of what I heard sounds like Vitriol, it was fun and the crowd was loving it. Definitely a fun pub band, if not really my kind of music.

Little Red were next up on the same stage as Subaudible Hum. Being an hour later, and having more shade than the main stage, it was packed. They are rocky, had the crowd bouncing and definitely upped the buzz. Sadly the vocals were crap, but I enjoyed them anyway - more good pub music.

A mate turned up at the end of Little Red, and he was keen to see Snob Scrilla. Not my kind of music, but they continue the recent trend of Aussie hip hop bands having musicians. You can bring hip hop to Australia, but you can't take the rock out of it.

I spent a bit of time chatting and drinking beer after that, but saw some British India from afar. They looked pretty good, actually. Fun pop - I should try and catch them another time.

You Am I were the next band I actively went to see. I've seen them many times before, but they didn't really grab me that night. Don't know why - maybe I'm just used to Tim Rogers being obnoxious and he wasn't.

Crowded House were the headliners. It's hard to go wrong really. I've not seen them before, and I loved it. Lots of sing along, awesome sound. The new stuff didn't rock my boat, but it was eminently listenable. The Finns are a truly talented family.

The hysteria over binge drinking has made a mess of the day. There were only 3 bars, with well over half an hour queue time. No doubt that stopped some people drinking altogether, but a lot more just ordered the maximum number of beers for themselves each time they got there, and then drank them quickly to stop them getting hot. It encouraged drinking more and faster.

They also had a recycling program whereby a $1 surcharge was applied to all drink containers which could be refunded when you returned the container. Great idea. Almost. They only had one place you could return them - which also ended up with enormous queues thereby discouraging people from recycling. Surely it was a no brainer that any place that sold the containers could take them back.

My final bitch is the whole free water farce. If you are serious about reducing drinking, you either provide water at a sensible price (NOT $5 a bottle) or you have free tap water available all over the site. They had neither. St Johns Ambulance had big containers of water, but they had trouble keeping up with demand and were only in a couple of places. It's blatant profiteering and utterly disgusting.

If you want to rip me off, fine - I have a choice about whether or not to go - but don't go bleating on about being concerned for health and the environment while you're at it.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Excuse me while I drop my bundle

I have so much I want to blog about - Homebake, Ben's party, Rolf Harris, how Australian I am, the Full Enchilada and god only knows what else - but right now, all I can manage is growling and tears. I am exhausted beyond my capacity to cope. I will return after I have had some sleep and got my shit together.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

How Australian am I?

I've been looking through my half written posts and found a few I forgot about. Mim did this one a while ago and I thought it looked like fun.

1. Heard a kookaburra in person We often see them on the way to school.

2. Slept under the stars On NYE 2000, on Cronulla beach, among others.

3. Seen a koala.

4. Visited Melbourne

5. Watched a summer thunderstorm One of the great treats of summer.

6. Worn a pair of thongs

7. Been to Uluru (Ayer's Rock).

8. Visited Cape York

9. Held a snake

10. Sang along with Khe San It's compulsory, as far as I know.

11. Drank VB Unfortunately.

12. Visited Sydney

13. Have seen a shark I'm assuming here that watching the fin after being removed from the water for a shark call counts

14. Have used Aussie slang naturally in a conversation

15. Had an actual conversation with an indigenous Australian

16. Eaten hot chips from the bag at the beach

17. Walked/climbed over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Climbed over it illegally before they opened up the Bridge Climb. Nice view from up there.

18. Used an outside dunny, and checked under the seat before sitting down

19. Seen Chloe in Young & Jackson's.

20. Slept on an overnight train or bus

21. Been to Sydney's Mardi Gras Only once, but I'd do it again given the oppoortunity.

22. Have gone bush-bashing

23. Taken a sickie I was good at these at school.

24. Been to see a game of Aussie Rules football As a work function, and didn't much enjoy it.

25. Have seen wild camels

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Had a Tim Tam Slam I had to look up to confirm exactly what this was, since I didn't call it that at the time. It's a natural extension of bikky dunking.

28. Ridden in a tram in Melbourne

29. Been at an ANZAC day Dawn Service. Only a local one, and only as a kid.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Held a wombat

32. Been on a roadtrip of 800km or more

33. Seen the Great Australian Bight in person

34. Had a really bad sunburn Oh yes.

35. Visited an aboriginal community - Driven through them, and went to the toilet once, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count.

36. Seen a redback spider Had a massive one (or dynasty of them - how long do they live?) under our front step when I was a kid.

37. Have watched Paul Hogan

38. Seen Blue Poles in person

39. Wandered barefoot in the bush/outback - I don't think the dash through the bush to the beach counts.

40. Eaten Vegemite

41. Thrown a boomerang Unsuccessfully.

42. Seen the Kimberlies

43. Given a hitch-hiker a lift - Dad did once when I was in the car - again, doesn't count.

44. Been to Perth

45. Have tried Lemon, Lime and Bitters Bleagghhhh

46. Tried playing a didgeridoo

47. Seen dinosaur footprints

48. Eaten Tim Tams

49. Been to Darwin

50. Touched a kangaroo

51. Visted the Great Barrier Reef

52. Listened to Kevin Bloody Wilson

53. Killed a Cane Toad They go POP nicely if you run over them the right way.

54. Gone to a drive-in theatre

55. Have read and own books by Australian authors

56. Visited Adelaide

57. Know the story behind "Eternity"

58. Been camping

59. Visited Brisbane

60. Been in an outback pub I think the Silverton pub outside Broken Hill counts as "outback"

61. Know what the term "Waltzing Matilda" actually means

62. Gone whale watching. But I've seen lots of dolphins.

63. Listened to Slim Dusty

64. Own five or more Australian movies or TV series - I don't own many movies or TV series full stop.

65. Sang along to Down Under Also compulsory - or at least unavoidable.

66. Have stopped specifically to look at an historic marker by the side of the road.

67. Eaten a 4'n'20 pie

68. Surfed at Bondi - I can't surf, but I have swum there, and it ain't my favourite beach...

69. Watched the cricket on Boxing Day Of course.

70. Visited Hobart

71. Eaten kangaroo I've been trying to make it a routine part of our diet recently.

72. Seen a quokka

73. Visited Canberra

74. Visited rainforests

75. Used a Victa lawnmower

76. Travelled on a tram in Adelaide

There's no 77. Why is there no 77?

78. Used a Hills hoist

79. Visited the Olgas

80. Used native Australian plants in cooking

81. Visited the snow

82. Chosen a side in Holden VS Ford We owned a Ford or two when I was a kid, and for some reason I took that side. You'll be pleased to know I grew out of it.

83. Visited the desert. - The Hay plain and the area around Broken Hill is the closest I've got.

84. Been water skiing

85. Read The Phantom

86. Visited Parliament House

87. Gone spotlighting or pig-shooting

88. Crossed the Nullarbor

89. Avoided swimming in areas because of crocodiles (and jellyfish.)

90. Listened to AC/DC.

91. Called someone a dag

92. Voted in a Federal Election

93. Have been swimming and stayed between the flags

94. Had a possum in your roof

95. Visited the outback - as previously mentioned, I've decided Broken Hill counts as outback.

96. Travelled over corrugated roads.

97. Hit a kangaroo while driving - had a few near misses, and my parents hit a big red near Bourke, but I was a baby at the time.

98. Been well outside any mobile phone coverage - not hard to achieve.

99. Seen an emu.

100. Have woken to the smell of bushfires. Not too hard to achieve, one of the times I did this I was about 5km from the CBD of Sydney.

77% apparently - although a lot of it achieved as a kid.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Birthdays

1 loaf of fairy bread
1 packet of iced arrowroot biscuits
10 bags of lollies
30-odd cupcakes
1/2 batch of coconut ice
1/2 very large birthday cake
20 green jellies
5 litres of cordial

This is what 19 kids can get through at a 6 year old's birthday party. And all of it green. It was a green party - green colour, green ideas.

And what happens immediately after you have 19 kids in your backyard? It buckets down of course.

And what do you do when it buckets down? You play pass the parcel.

This was actually really successful. I drew the line at prizes for every kid both on sanity and green grounds. Instead, we had cards at each layer (on the backs of outdated business cards) with instructions for each kid to do something - sing a verse of "My Highland Goat", swap places with someone whose name starts with M etc. Any time a kid looked like a deer in the headlights at the prospect of fulfilling the task, we had the whole group do it. There was much hilarity.

The cake request was for a frog - green colour, green idea. Since I am no cake decorator, we flicked through a book looking for ideas, and this was the frog that resulted.

Another popular event was bobbing for apples. This was how it began.

And this was how it ended.

I'm not sure any of these kids' parents will let them come back to my house...

In an attempt to dry them out, they belted a pinata for 45 minutes.


As you may have noticed, we made it ourselves. Possibly with more structural integrity than was good for it. This was our first attempt, we might get it closer next time. Although I am very proud of the fact that no matter how much we belted it, it didn't fall down. The kids themselves managed to dent it, but it took Crash, Ed and Sol (2 adults and a 15 year old) to smash it apart. Then there were kids and lollies everywhere! And they were all just a tad shattered. I also need to learn the right kinds of lollies to put in them....

The other really cool thing was the presents. Every kid made some effort to do something green. Homemade paper and cards. Painted newspaper. The cards were gorgeous, I don't think I'm buying any more cards for kids' parties - the homemade ones are way cooler.

And one very inspired mother wrapped the gifts in the pre-school artworks of her kids. Truly brilliant.

It was exhausting, but it was a great party. 19 tired, wet, filthy kids left at 5pm. It must have been good.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Every silver lining has a cloud

I'm quite a fan of double length toilet rolls. We have stairs in our house, with toilets on 2 floors, toilet paper stored on one. Anything that means less transportation of toilet rolls is a good thing.

But, twice as much toilet paper on a roll, means twice as much toilet paper strewn all over the bathroom and entangled in the toilet brush when little miss 13 months discovers an open bathroom door.

What is it with babies and toilets? If they aren't decorating them with bog roll, they are throwing things in them. Her own bedtime rabbit, miscellaneous toys and Crash's toothbrush, for example. My toothbrush is apparently not toilet worthy, and just gets carted down the hall.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Back-hander

A dress caught my eye in a shop I would not normally go near, and when I tried it on I discovered I quite liked it (I'm loving the maxi dress, comfy and easy to wear). At the cash register the girl said "I like your scarf in your hair, it's cute. Do you have to wear it for work?". Hmmm. "No," I reply, "I wear it so I don't have to do anything with my hair." I don't think there was much I could have said that would have further damaged my status as fashion guru...

Monday, December 01, 2008

Dinner serenade

Charlie serenading us at dinner:

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are you and me

Can't fault him on his logic.