Beagle battles

Have you ever got to know a beagle? They are a very particular breed. Dog trainers will tell you that you can train a dog with positive feedback alone, because dogs want nothing more than to please you. In that case, beagles must be cats. Beagles have no interest in pleasing their human landlords. They please themselves. You'll notice the beagles at the airport are rewarded with food, not pats.

Bailey, our beagle-in-residence, rarely has any use for us, except at dinner time. He has a mat in the TV room to sleep on, but he doesn't like to admit that he wants to be near us.


Apparently it's a little stuffy in there - he was forced to stick out his nose for ventilation.


But certainly no eyes, nor ears.

Beagles are also notoriously vindictive. My first beagle, Rana, had a 24 hour bladder (I think her record was 30 hours without a pee - it was cold outside), but if one of us had somehow offended her during the day, she would, for example, desperately need to go out to the toilet at 3am.

Bailey is clearly unimpressed that Crash is away. I have been feeding him only what he needs. He is an Unhappy Beagle. Each night he has started howling outside at around midnight. The first night I let him in to the main part of the house, and all was well. I knew I'd been had, but I wanted sleep. The second night I just locked his dog door and left him in the laundry area where he sleeps. That went ok. The third night he refused to be locked in the laundry, so I let him in again. He rampaged all over the house, scattered dirty washing over 3 floors and destroyed several items. When I got up he was locked out for the whole morning. I was an Unhappy Mummy.

Last night I knew the battle lines were drawn. Just after midnight he started again. I locked him in the laundry and he kept howling and yelping. We argued for TWO HOURS before he finally gave in and went to sleep. How do you argue with a beagle? It goes like this:

"Aroooooooooooooooo"

"NO!!!!!!!!"

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyone want a rather aged beagle?